1. explore-blog:

The ecosystem of imaginary relationships, one of David Byrne’s hand-drawn pencil diagrams of life and love

The sad reality? 


    The ecosystem of imaginary relationships, one of David Byrne’s hand-drawn pencil diagrams of life and love

    The sad reality? 

  2. I’m obsessively opposed to the typical.” 

    <3 .

  3. Thank you, stupid person, for wandering into my stupid life.

    Have you ever been in love?  Horrible isn’t it?  It makes you so vulnerable.  It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.  You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…. You give them a piece of you.  They didn’t ask for it.  They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore.  Love takes hostages.  It gets inside you.  It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.  It hurts.  Not just in the imagination.  Not just in the mind.  It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.  I hate love.  ~Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones

  4. “Lots of things can be fixed. Things can be fixed. But many times, relationships between people cannot be fixed, because they should not be fixed. You’re aboard a ship setting sail, and the other person has joined the inland circus, or is boarding a different ship, and you just can’t be with each other anymore. Because you shouldn’t be.” 

    ― C. JoyBell C.

  5. This.

  6. I was living the best days of my life until I was denied of the one thing that could hurt me the most

  7. Alis Volat Propriis

    Okay well here’s the deal. I’ve been off Tumblr for a while now, simply because I’ve started Uni. But it isn’t the shitloads of work that’s continuously piling up that’s keeping me back. Events are unraveling so quickly that I can’t wrap my head around what’s going on, i can’t quite grasp and put into words my day-to-day life.

    Uni life is amazing. I love it; the meeting friends everyday, gossiping over tea and a muffin, meeting new people all the time. I was brainwashed into thinking I was antisocial and not good with people, which was why I held back these past 2 years or so. Well, I’m breaking free now :-) It feels really good not to be chained to someone’s unfair criticism of me. Those words became my reality and kept screwing me over.  

    Alis volat propriis: she flies with her own wings, the motto I wish to embody. And why shouldn’t I? I’m my own person, I shouldn’t be conditioned by anyone, or even by myself, by wanting something that’s clearly not healthy for me. I’ve been so happy lately. This life I’m living isn’t what I used to envision. It’s miles better.

  8. It’s crazy how you can get yourself in a mess sometimes and not even be able to think about it with any sense and yet not be able to think about anything else. ~Stanley Kubrick

  9. I can’t believe I miss you what the fuck is wrong with me?!

  10. "Questions are places in your mind where answers fit. If you haven’t asked the question, the answer has nowhere to go. It hits your mind and bounces right off. You have to ask the question – you have to want to know – in order to open up the space for the answer to fit."
  11. Leave the light on, I’ll never give up on you

    I’m in a weird place in my life right now. I’m upset and resentful for the better part of the day. I’m just not happy with the way things are, and its not just the usual issue that’s been bugging me for the last year or so. I’m just unhappy cause I hate this house, I don’t want to live here any more. I need CHANGE in environment so fucking bad! Its hard for anyone to understand really, most people would think I’m being selfish. Maybe I am. Maybe its my parents being selfish though. I understand that moving house is not easy, especially finance-wise. But its the fact that they told me we’d be out by this summer a while back… why lie to my face? That’s what really upsets me. Its bad enough that they are overprotective in a horrible way, they discuss me behind my back in the most OBVIOUS manner, they definitely don’t treat me like the 18 year old I am. I can’t help but feel uncomfortable around them. I’m just desperate to start afresh, elsewhere.  

    Then there’s something else that’s getting me down. The realisation that it’s over between us, and this time, for the first time, with no real hope of us getting back together. I don’t know, it’s just weird. I’m really calm about it, I don’t think its hit me yet. Next October is going to be so difficult, starting University. I know I have a tough year ahead of me, with all the intensive Law studies and all, and I kind of resent the fact that we’re going to be on the same campus, and you’re not going to be mine. I can already anticipate my nerves, as I always feel nervous when I know you’re around. I just don’t want it to define my first few months at Uni.. I really need this to be my fresh start, despite all the obstacles. University HAS to be the context in which I start developing into a strong, independent woman that I so wish to become, that you doubt I could ever be. I want to blow you away :-) ..such thoughts provide the positive energy I need to keep going in times like these. I don’t even know if I want you back or not, there’s so much keeping us apart its crazy.But hey, I miss you. I always will. Maybe its for the best. Still, no harm in making you regret it. 

  12. “Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams…

    If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.” 

  13. When something is missing in your life, it usually turns out to be someone.

    40 days. Its been 40 days since we started talking again; since you pushed play on the ‘turbulence’ button that hadn’t been paused long enough to make the feelings that were always there, albeit sometimes well hidden, rocket back up to the surface. 

    But, I feel like things have to change - move forward, or get shoved aside. We are not together, not yet. But the things we say sometimes, our reactions to each other’s actions say otherwise. And a part of me really resents that. Because honestly, there’s a lot we have to work on, to not just rebuild what we let go of 4 months ago, but build something that’s safer, more durable.. a happy place for both of us. 

    How can something that makes me so happy, simultaneously make me lose all self confidence in an instant? That’s what I hate most about us. The insecurities, the doubts, the tears. I know it sounds so dramatic, but that’s exactly how I feel, not exaggerating in the slightest. I really want to make this work, but I’m terrified it just can’t. 365 days ago you hurt me in a way I will never truly get over, but I don’t get how after all that has happened, we both end up in the place we first started in; cautious, non-communicative, in love? It’s so complicated, trying to make sense of it just exhausts me. 

About me

throwing pebbles at the stars since '94. I'm on a mission: I want to change. I'm gonna prove you wrong, someday.